#62 When you change.
23 June 2026
My best friend got closer to religion very early on. I remember she became different, and it scared me. She put on the hijab, she loosened everything, and what scared me the most was that she started wearing handsocks. (There are scarier things in life, Vivy).
I felt like I was losing her because I wasn’t where she was.
When you want to get closer to Islam, you’ll naturally go through some changes. Externally, you might look different – a change of wardrobe perhaps, or less makeup. Internally too, you might feel different – you might speak less so there’s less chance of gossip, you might limit your interactions with the opposite sex, your outlook on life might change. Or will change.
And this transition, especially if abrupt, may scare your friends.
I was in the mosque one day, and my phone beeped with messages from groupchats and one in particular caught my eye.
It had the word “f****g” in it.
You see, I grew up never really accepting vulgar words. My parents would “chili” my mouth, I think. So I grew up never really being able to say those words. But I tolerated it when others around me use these words.
Somehow, something changed in me that day.
The more I learned, the more I realized that the Quran and sunnah cannot be any clearer.
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
“A man may speak a word that angers Allah and not see anything wrong with it, but it will cause him to sink down in Hell the depth of seventy autumns.”
– Sahih, Sunan Abd Majah
That’s seventy years. And that’s one F word. It’s so scary, guys, we just don’t realise it.
Islam reminds us always not to slander others, backbite, gossip or say vulgar words. Even if you’re included in the conversation, and you don’t leave, you’re complicit.
So I did something I never thought I’d do.
I left the groupchat.
A groupchat consisting of some of my closest friends, who are so dear to me.
I knew the language didn’t sit well with me anymore. But I thought I surely can’t impose my values and force others to change. Who was I to do that. This was my change, not theirs. So instead of telling them to stop, I thought I’d just remove myself instead.
What happened next?