Free Fridays: Best reality check from my daughter.

15 August 2025

It was my best friend’s Asma’s birthday last week and in true tradition, we had our usual sleepover. Yes, we still do birthday sleepovers – our husbands have signed contracts to allow this even in our 70s. Much to their reluctance.

We planned to meet after dinner, to make sure we’ve settled our kids and husbands and cats and all.

Fadza agreed to send me after dinner.

I was packed by 6pm. Excited to have my girls time, I packed so fast. Pyjamas, check. Skincare, check. Outfit for tomorrow’s breakfast, check. I admired my outfit on the hanger – a gorgeous white embroidered dUCk top and a white Our Second Nature skirt that I just love. Paying homage to birthday girl’s all-white colour code for her… well, entire life.

7.30pm Fadza prayed. I couldn’t.

7.35pm I peeked to nudge him a “let’s go” signal since he was done.

He sat on the prayer mat doing his reciting.

Can’t say anything to that! Ok, I sat back down, waiting for him to finish.

What a good man, I thought.

Five minutes passed. He’s still on the prayer mat.

Hmm… that’s a lot of reciting tonight, I thought impatiently.

The devil totally visited my space that moment and hung around to poke my patience level. Astarghfirullah.

After Fadza was done, I smiled at him my sweet “Jommmmmm” smile.

He said, “Oh, give me five minutes. I need to go to the toilet.”

Now?! That’s going to be like twenty minutes! Why do husbands always have to go to the toilet when we’re ready to leave…

I smiled anyway, reminding myself that he’s so sweet to let me have a girls night. “No problem,” I gritted through my teeth.

After a few minutes, he came out and said, “Oh I have pickleball tonight. Let me change and get ready my stuff.”

I said nothing, already starting to fume after all this waiting.

I sat on the couch and sighed.

Mariam looked at me, “What’s up, Mom?”

“Well, your dad! He already knows I want to leave right after dinner, but he’s taking his own sweet time. Toilet la, get ready la… by the time I get to Maksu’s, it’s going to be 9pm!” I complained to her.

She said nothing, but she patted my thigh as if saying there, there.

I decided to test her.

“Don’t you think that’s annoying?” I asked her.

“Oh, I don’t take sides,” Mariam said firmly.

Mmm, raised her right. Good girl.

“Ok but don’t you think Daddy should hurry up for me?” I asked Mariam.

“Well, Mom….” Mariam started saying, as she put her hand on my shoulder.

I looked at her.

“I hate to say this to you, but….” she continued.

What she said next was like a slap to my face.

“But you do this to Daddy all the time.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my daughter, Savage.

“What do you mean?” I asked defensively, my mouth hanging open.

“Well, every time Daddy is rushing and is at the door, you’re like Oh I forgot my sunnies, Oh hang on I left my phone, Oh sorry I need to get a drink,” she reminded me, while making an annoying voice and hand gestures, trying to imitate me.

My mouth - still open.

“So yeah, you shouldn’t be mad cos you do it too.” Mariam concluded and continued watching TV.

Look at this smart alec with her smart mouth! I sat there completely speechless. How dare she expose me like this in my own living room, sitting on my couch?

Ugh but she’s so right. I do do that. It annoys the heck out of Fadza.

Why must my daughter remember everything?

And just like that, I couldn’t get mad at Fadza anymore. All the frustration towards him taking his time disappeared. My ego completely dropped and I even thanked him for taking time to send me to my girls night.

Oh, Mariam.

Lesson: the next time we get mad at others, stop and check if it’s something we’re guilty of too. If you’re not sure, just ask tell-you-like-it-is Miss Savage to school you.

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Before you go…

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Before you really go…

Let me know you’ve read this. Comment “I don’t take sides” on my latest post at @sincerelyvivy.

See you there! :)