Free Fridays: Have daughters.
19 September 2025
There are some things that are just painful in life.
Falling down.
Blood tests.
Kale.
And I’ve discovered a new item to put in that category.
Clothes-shopping with your tween daughters.
We went to a store during this long weekend to get new clothes for them. They’re growing fast and things don’t fit anymore. So ok, let’s go. I was excited because this is what moms dream of when they’re pregnant with a girl – the bonding, the shopping together, the giggling and putting make-up on each other. So naturally, I was looking forward to my dreams coming true. What a blessing it is to have a daughter. Two, in my case.
Hand in hand, we walked into the store. And my eyes went all over picking up nice clothes for them.
“Ooohh, this one!” I lit up when I saw a lace dress – perfect for Sarah.
“Ewww, no, Mom,” Sarah dismissed it.
“How about this one?” I saw a top with beautiful beads, I’d totally buy it if they had it in my size.
“Gosh, Mom, no….” Sarah walked past it.
“But I’d wear it!” I said.
“I’m not you, Mom,” Sarah replied, with a sympathetic pat on my back.
Ouch.
What just happened? Sarah is supposed to be the sweet daughter!
Ok nvm, this is why God gave me two. I’ll try the other one.
I located Mariam holding up baggy jeans in the store and went to her.
“Ooohhh nice jeans, Mariam!” I said excitedly trying to sound supportive over those jeans that looked like a guni sack.
“Mommm,” she groaned and put it back on the rack.
Wait, what? I thought she liked it a second ago.
“I like these ones. Bootcut jeans are so flattering,” I picked up a pair of dark blue bootcut jeans.
“No, Mom, no one wears bootcuts anymore,” she said, walking quickly to another rack.
Uh… I do.
“Ooohh, this top is nice!” I said holding up a long-sleeved top with small flowers.
“No, that’s not my style,” Mariam said simply.
“Ok then. What is your style?” I asked her.
“Just… not that.”
-______-“
THIS SURE DOES NOT FEEL LIKE THE DREAMS I HAD ABOUT US SHOPPING TOGETHER.
Then I remembered moments of me shopping with my own mother when I was young. I would dismiss everything she picked up and I remember thinking why does Mom want me to wear the most hideous things. And I concluded that my mom has the worst fashion sense, she doesn’t understand me and that I should say no to everything she picked.
And bam, 30 years later, my own daughters are doing the exact same thing!
I suddenly feel like calling my mom to apologise to her.
Are daughters just wired to reject you from the age of 7 to 15?!
Sarah dragged me to the fitting room where she tried on a pair of baggy jeans and a t-shirt with a unicorn on it that was so simple, it looked like Idris could have drawn it.
“Now this is fashion, Mom” she said, beaming.
Ummm you look like a boy.
What happened to liking pretty dresses?
Mariam came to me and put her arms around me, with a bag full of stuff that I wouldn’t have chosen. “It’s ok, Mom, you just don’t know fashion very well, but you’re good at other things…” she “comforted” me.
Wow.
Want to build resilience, guys?
Have daughters.
Before you go…
Remember my event the other day? Thanks to those of you who came - I summarised the biggest takeaway in my Tuesday post here. Check out the photos too!:
I did the event at Colony, my trusted go-to for all things classy!
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You can check out their locations here on their website. All are gorgeous tbh, they’re super classy!
Before you really go…
Let me know you’ve read this. Comment “the circle of life” on my latest post at @sincerelyvivy.
See you there! :)
Next time I’ll bring Mariam shopping. Aunties are 100% cooler than mums 😏
Can relate. Now mine is 15 and 20. I don't bothered to choose anymore.. you choose I pay. But when they reach certain age, Thier fashion senses are back.. no worries.