Free Fridays: The best thing my dad said to me.

13 June 2025

Jun 13, 2025

Ok if I were to list down everything my dad has done for me, we’d be looking at a mountain of things. How can we ever repay our parents for bringing us into the world, raising us and loving us unconditionally? In spirit of Father’s Day this Sunday, I wanted to honour my dad by appreciating what he’s done for me.

There’s one particular thing that my dad said to me that changed my life. And he had no idea it would. Both of us didn’t realise how significant that moment was for me, and how it would shape me. Until I reflect today.

It was a sunny day in London in 2009. I was 21 years old and had just graduated with a law degree from LSE, fully aware that I wasn’t going to use this degree ever again. My parents were just happy I graduated with something.

“Do you still want this?” Mom pointed to my A-Levels yearbook.

“Uh, yes,” as I jumped to it immediately so she wouldn’t open it. She had no idea inside were photos of parties she should never see. Pre-hijab days… *laughs nervously* I’ve asked for forgiveness from God, may He accept.

I shoved them into one of the many brown boxes.

We were both in T-shirts, packing up all my belongings. It was time for me to leave London after graduation and start my adult life in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, where I come from. My parents came to help me, eager for their youngest girl to come home. My mom did what moms do best – pack up everything for their child while nagging about why the said child has too much junk. While my dad did what he did best - lecture me about life.

“You’re not a student anymore,” he pointed out the obvious.

I nodded, unsure where this conversation was going.

“You’re about to enter the real world, the world where you have to earn a living,” he started his speech.

Ah, ok, I see where he’s going now. He’s going to say it’s time you write your own script.

“It’s time you write your own script,” my dad continued.

Nailed it, I did a mental pat on my back.

“You have three options to choose from,” he suggested in a very Godfather-ly tone.

Ishhh. He said I can write my own script, then proceeds to give me three options. Dads!

“You can either work for me and help the family company. Or work for any of my friend’s companies subject to whether you pass their hiring process or not. Or last option, you find your own job. You can choose any of these three,” he concluded while he waited for my answer.

I was waiting for the fourth option of “you get to travel the world with your friends and bum around” but it never came so never mind.

I looked at my dad. A stern, but a very kind and loving dad. He wanted sons but God gave him not one, but two girls. So his dreams of going to football matches with his children (like he did with his own dad) were crushed, instead he found himself in the dollhouse aisle at the toystore. He thought he could groom his children to become tough masculine leaders, but he had to groom my toy pony’s tail instead. Life doesn’t always give you what you want, but maybe what you need – he needed his girls. To love him, to soften him, to care for him. And God knows we need him too.

I’m grateful for that sit-down he had with me – to get me ready mentally for my life ahead. To force me to work. Eventually I chose his first option, but I guess we didn’t know yet that I was born an entrepreneur so I did none of the three options in the end. I started my own business instead.

But I believe the business couldn’t have flourished and scaled if he didn’t say this next line.

The line that would change my life trajectory forever.

He said, “But I think you should continue to write because I believe you have a gift of telling stories.”

(It didn’t matter if I really did or not. But my dad believed it wholeheartedly and that was all that I needed.)

My jaw dropped because in university I started a blog called Proudduck and the last person I wanted to read it was my dad. He would’ve been so angry he’d disown me, I always believed. My blog had all sorts of secrets and parties and dates with Fadza who I nicknamed Dean. I had no idea that my dad was reading in secret, miles away. For three years. I guess it was his way of keeping an eye on me. I appreciated that my dad didn’t scold me for it, but instead he focused on a talent that he believed I had and encouraged me to go further.

With his nod of approval, I went all out. I revealed my face, my name, and continued writing everyday on the blog. The blog became one of the most popular blogsites in my country and it just catapulted my popularity until I was able to launch a business that already had eyeballs from Day 1. Not because of overnight luck, but because I worked at it for years prior and connected with a community that followed my journey from university till, well now.

From the blog, it expanded to Facebook, then Instagram, then YouTube and now this. I’ve grown a bond with my readers (hopefully you!) and you’ve seen me through it all – ups, downs, achievements, failures, celebrations, griefs. You’ve seen me get married and birth children, you’ve mourned with me when Opah passed away, you’ve cheered me on with FashionValet and dUCk, you’ve comforted me when I lost it all. You’ve been there through it all, and you’re still here because a bond created for almost twenty years can’t easily be thrown out. I’m grateful for you in my life and so thankful for it all until today.

And it’s all because my dad saw something in me and encouraged me.

“You should continue to write.”

Five simple words.

That changed my life.

If he had chosen to scold me instead, I would have probably stopped blogging and my life would be very different. There would be no community built and no connection with people.

The lesson here that I want to share is this: when you see your kids do something, understand it first. Don’t jump. My dad could have scolded me at any time in those first three years I blogged in university, but he stayed patient. He analysed from far first and swallowed his disapproval. In the end, when the time came, he chose to see the good in me instead. And I will always be grateful to him for that, and more.

Encourage your child to pursue what they love, even if you don’t understand it.

You never know how your words of encouragement can change their life.

A little surprise…

My dad can’t take coffee but he loves tea. And I think I got my love for tea from him. #genetics

So for Father’s Day, I got Tealive to give us all a little treat! They’ve launched their Light Milk Tea series.

It’s the low calories series, perfect for our dads who need to take care of their calorie intake. And let’s be honest, us too.

So just for Sincerely, Vivy readers, they are offering a treat for the Light Milk Tea series - buy 1, get the 2nd 50% off. My friend ordered this yesterday, coincidentally, and said it’s sooooo good. So please don’t waste this treat!

All you have to do is download the Tealive app (QR below) and key in code “SINCERELYTEALIVE” at checkout.

One for you, one for your dad. Or both for you, I won’t judge.

Download the Tealive app now and redeem it!

(Promo ends 13 July 2025 and is valid for the first 500 customers only. One usage per customer)

Before you really go…

Let me know you’ve read this. Comment “I forgot it’s Father’s Day this Sunday” and tag your dad/husband/brother on my latest post at @sincerelyvivy.

See you there! :)